Counteracting Trauma

 In an earlier post, I shared how my eldest daughter encouraged me while I despaired over the fate of the U.S. government as I watched being it ripped apart. Her advice: focus on your Circle of Control (or, Circle of Influence). There is little (read: nothing) to be gained by lamenting over things beyond my control.

Shortly after that advice from my eldest daughter, my son-in-law shared how agency, connection, and community counteract trauma.

Agency: As my daughter had shared, focus on the things within my power to control.

Connection: Don't suffer alone. Seek out others who share vision for the world we hope for.

Community: At a larger scale than connection, link arms with others to take action. By ourselves, we each are powerless. Even in small groups, that powerlessness is profound, but less painful. But in sufficient numbers, we have a shared voice that commands attention. And that attention can attract both allies and enemies.

Spoiling for a Fight?

Attracting both allies and enemies? Isn't that just spoiling for a fight? Perhaps. But rampant trauma by a few powerful people won't heal by large crowds just wringing their hands. Confrontation is probably necessary to effect any change of note.

Ideally, that confrontation will be in a civil context, like a court of law. The whole judicial system is predicated on adversaries who agree on rules of engagement.

But, if those rules of engagement are breached, if the power of the court is muted, then the confrontation might best be taken to the street in peaceful protest. (I don't want to explore what happens after peaceful protests prove ineffective. Not yet, anyway.)

I'm not spoiling for a fight. But if one was needed, I wouldn't want to face it without overwhelming alliance.

Connection and Community

When we gather together, in small groups or large, we can share resources. I might not be able to litigate an issue before a court, but I can string a few words together for blog posts. 

Maybe publishing a newsletter or writing an op-ed piece would help. I would rather do that as a team effort than do it solo. I need thoughtful feedback to check my thinking and help me see beyond the next obstacle in front of me.

More Advice Coming

Shortly after my son-in-law shared his thoughts with me, my #2 daughter (his wife), sent me treasure trove of ideas for how to be more effective in the face of the present political mess. I'll share most of that in an upcoming post.

But by way of teasing, look for:

• Local groups to join
• BIPOC communities to support
• Roles that bring one's strengths to the table

More on these later.